This is my attempt to try to update this blog more than twice a year.

Today I was driving to astronomy. The class that reminds me everyday that if we aren’t going to be killed by massive asteroid impact that the world will eventually burn up. Truly uplifting.

So as I was driving I passed some large road kill. Road kill doesn’t bother me unless it’s a cat or a dog or some other domesticated fuzzy animal. But this road kill was an owl. I am completely distraught. I really like owls. They’re really pretty and sometimes they smoke pipes and wear spectacles.

Then I had to pass some rapist van going 55. You know the vans I’m talking about. The kind that are yellow/brown with a lot of space in the back where the “puppies” are held. So I casually passed the van and was stunned to see a large pack of wild turkeys.

The turkeys blended in with the woods, so I did not see them at first. These turkeys decide that now would be a good time to cross the road… even though there is a rapist van and 95’ Ford Taurus heading their way.

This one turkey takes the lead. I look at his other turkey friends like I expected them to scream, “HEY MAN LOOK OUT”. So I slam on my breaks and they make that awful noise that is usually followed by the sound of a crash.

So the leader of the pack takes flight, which isn’t saying much for a turkey. All the other turkeys freak out and run back into the woods. Alas, the rapist van hit the turkey.

I was not sad. In fact, this situation made me think about incredibly DUMB turkeys are. It also made me think of how hunting turkeys like my brother do is really pointless. They are such dumb animals that you could walk right up to it and hit it on the head with a rock.

I have provided a picture of a turkey in remembrance of the one that got hit by the rapist van. It is not THE turkey, but it is just as stupid.

Rest in peace you dumb bird