Today my mother came inside from getting the mail. She walked into the living room and with the most horrified look on her face she asked me, “Why is there a big chunk of straw in our mailbox?” To which I replied in my coolest teenage tone of voice “Uuh… I dunno”. My mother asked me in a why that would seem to imply that I did something to piss off somebody enough to have them put straw in our mailbox, and that the universe would never be the same again because of this. At the time it didn’t seem to bother me, but as I thought about it I became suspicious. Why my house, and why straw? These thoughts stayed with me the whole day. A passerby wouldn’t just be walking with a chunk of straw and be like, “I’ve got no place to put this straw! How about in this mailbox”. Now this is silly because A. Straw is biodegradable and B. Nobody carries a large chunk of straw with them. Then I thought maybe someone DOES hate me and knows I am allergic to such things as straw. Or maybe someone hates straw and wanted me to know. So I decided to ask some of my friends. The following are their responses as to why someone would put a large chunk of straw in my mailbox.

Aron: “Like i said yesterday, people are mad at you cuz you didnt scream loud enough at the football game therefore they lost, its all the bands fault”

Taylor: “because...they're festive!”

“they want to help you feed the horses”

“they hate you and your french grandmother...next week is the anthrax”

Kaley: “you know on The Village... how they marked the houses with red x's.... maybe creepy beings are marking houses with straw”

“Maybe it was the scarecrow looking for his brain...and he left you a present.”

If you have any other explanations please feel free to leave comments.