For those of you who haven’t realized it, the Super Bowl is targeted towards men ages 16-40 who are chronic masturbators, drinkers, have a low IQ, who are incapable of holding any relationship over 3 months, and whose testosterone level is through the roof. Without these men, Super Bowl Sunday would not exist. Apparently, it’s the end of the world. An exposed breast with a pastie on cable television is going to cause God himself to come down from heaven and strike us all dead. Hide in your basements, lock your doors and windows, Janet Jackson’s bare boob is going to be the death of everyone in this Rhythm Nation.

Many people were offended by this because they had gathered the family around the television to see some good, wholesome football. You. Total. Freaks. That’s right, the clean cut Super Bowl with the commercials that promote alcohol, violence, obesity and sex. Its right up there with the Olsen twin movies and re-runs of Mr. Rogers. I really doubt children are ruined for life. I doubt it will be the first and last boob they ever see.

Next time you fear you might see something on TV you will find offensive, change the channel, read a book, put on some soft jazz. Don’t tell me you expected MTV to give you a classy show. It is completely wrong that it has brought up this much controversy. Dear America, get over it. Hakuna-ma-fucking-tata.